Thinking on these things . . .

I was walking out of Caribou Coffee with my Heath Bar Frappaccino , and the girl said, “Have a nice day!” I couldn’t help but recognize the irony. I’d just come from meeting with the pastor to plan my mom’s funeral service and was on my way home to finish up the last things before heading over to the visitation. So when she said this common pleasantry, it made me wonder: What would you say if I told you what I was doing today? And if you knew, would you still wish me a nice day? But then I thought, what makes a day a “nice” day? Is it a day that is easy? Pleasurable? Happy? Trouble-free? What constitutes a “nice day”? If a day is filled with love and laughter and peace, would that make it a nice day? This day has been filled with love as family and friends have come to share their sympathy for us and their admiration for my mom, and many tears have glistened in the eyes of those who will miss her, because she was loved. There has been laughter as stories have flowed about good times pe...

I found out today that a friend is moving - soon and far away: far enough way that any contact will be electronically and probably eventually reduced to the exchanging of Christmas cards. Loss is numbing - I guess that's the beauty of shock, it allows you to go on doing all that your day demands as your heart assimilates little by little what has happened. As this fact cuts into my heart, I've started thinking about the ramifications of this to my future as I recall how important what is now lost, has been to my past. Clinically there are stages of grief - I've read them, worked through them with the deaths of in - laws and a parent. This isn't death but it's still grief. Like the loss of a job, or health, or a house to fire, or a car in an accident, or all the things we just assume will never change, it shakes us when suddenly what has been the norm, isn't. I'm remembering occasions that I didn't know it would be the last time, and consequently planning...

It's a hot, middle-of-the-summer kind of day. I am at the laundromat - oh joy. Part of the reason I am there is that it's a hot summer day, and everything will be able to dry on the clothesline before the sun sets. This is also a bad idea, because a laundromat is not the place you want to be when it's stifling. So I wrestle my basket into the car and head home, and pulling up I realize that I don't have any additional clotheslines. It had been the last thing I'd said to my husband two hours ago when I was leaving - please, make sure the lines are up when I get back. People are more easily irritated when it's hot - did you know that? "They" just did a big study on it as reported on the ten o'clock news - what a surprise... I am not a happy camper. I hang up a few things and leave the basket with the rest and head into my room, the only room with air conditioning. I reach for my journal and start writing out my frustrations. As I recount how I am bot...

Everything has lead up to this point and now it is time. The leading character utters those words we've waited all season to hear.... "I love you" they say. The object of affection turns and hesitates (cue dramatic music). The milliseconds seem like minutes until finally it is uttered, "I love you too." (music swells, lovers kiss, exit to credits) Ah, that romantic tension, all the waiting and wondering and worrying if this person really loves them or are they just stringing them along, because of course as we all know, if they are in love than all of their lives together will be happily ever after...but that's an entirely different subject. What if the person had never said "I love you" would the other one had offered an "I love you" first? Does the responder love less than the initiator because they love them "too" and not just simply "I love you"? Does an "I love you too" mean that my love is based on the ...

It's allergy season. This means that every room of the house has a half empty box of kleenex in it and some rooms even have two! I'm up right now at an hour unrecognizable to me because I can't breathe. Inadvertently I'd bought a box of Puffs Plus, tissues with lotion, and I discovered that they are wonderfully soft. The next time I went to replenish the kleenex supply I intentionally sought out more of this brand. I found them and they were expensive so I stood in the aisle seeing if I could justify to myself spending practically twice what the other tissues were to get this kind that I'd liked. I was buying several boxes so it took me a while to rationalize it all out and put the softer tissues in my cart. Those tissues sit beside me now as I write and every time I've grabbed one, I've been grateful that I made the right decision. After weeks of the joys of pollen, my nose is still not raw, and though they were close to three dollars a box, a still intact ...

Being near a lake draws my attention to things I typically don’t see a t home in the city. Things like circling seagulls and the rhythm of waves rolling to shore, the color of a sunset reflected on the water, and buoys. Buoys are everywhere around the lake, marking where boats can go, and how far out swimmers are safe. Typically in this area they are white with an orange-red stripe, and they bob in the water, all day, every day, and through the night and then the next day and the next night and the...well, you get the picture. It doesn’t seem to matter if the lake is calm or choppy or filled with racing white-capped waves, the buoys still stay in the same place, bobbing up and down, sometimes more agitatedly than at other times, but still there. I’ve learned that they are anchored to the bottom of the lake by a long chain that holds securely to the solid foundation of a large weight. When the waves crash over them, they are overwhelmed but not submerged. During a storm they are pounded...

I was perusing the Sunday paper and checking out the weekly ad from one of my favorite craft stores. I confess, I'm at the craft store more than I need to be, so much so that I almost feel a bit like Norm from the show Cheers...remember, he would walk in and everyone would shout out "Norm" because, well, there everyone knows your name. (don't tell me you're not having that music go through your mind right now) So I have just about every craft supply known to mankind ; soap and paper, and candle wax and fabric and yarn and... what can I say, I'm a great starter and yet so easily distracted! So here in my hand is the big colorful two page ad with the big 40% off coupon right there at the bottom of the first page, tempting me to think about what I could possibly get with it. I search the ad for what's on sale; there's silk flowers, stickers, paper, frames, wedding supplies etc. I read through it again just to see if I missed anything, nope, I saw them a...