Friday, November 23, 2007

The Lack of a Corkscrew

I held a beautiful blue long necked bottle of Riesling, finally.

I brought in all the groceries and all the stuff and was going to open the bottle and have a glass.

Off came the wrapper revealing the cork. Hmm, I need a corkscrew...

I riffled through the silverware drawer, nothing.

Went through the misc. kitchen tools drawer: chopsticks, lemon zester, apple corer, turkey lifters, birthday candles...everything else in the world...

Onto the Swiss army knives, they have corkscrews, I never understood why you'd need a corkscrew out in the wilderness but...

Found two knives, neither had a corkscrew.

It's now been twenty minutes.

Got a steak knife. No use.

Went online: "How to remove a cork without a corkscrew"

Watched a video of how to do it with a screw, screwdriver and hammer: couldn't find that stuff either.

Finally put the bottle in the fridge and sat down and admitted what was really happening:

God was here in my kitchen.

He was playing hide and seek with my corkscrew.

He knew what I was finally ready to admit to myself.
This bottle had little to do with reacquainting myself with the taste as I had been telling myself.
This bottle was a hope to numb the pain. That I could drink enough to feel better or, if not to feel better, to just cease feeling.

I hurt and kept on hurting. I'd talked to people, I'd cried and prayed, I'd tried to feel better, but I didn't and I just wanted the pain to stop and this was my solution.

Apparently God had something else in mind - He was not going to let me start down a path that lead to more pain.

He prevented me from saying to Him by my actions "You're not enough for me because I still hurt and I'm turning to something else now."

In the past God has rescued me from trouble, this time he prevented me from starting.

I spent that time in honest evaluation instead of pleasurable drinking. I talked to a friend about where I'd found myself. Although my intent was to make things hazy, instead I saw more clearly.

Today, I found a corkscrew and ironically enough I found it on a swiss army knife in a box of my mom's stuff. The loss of my mom and the cause of the pain was the very place I found the instrument I'd lacked to numb it's effects.

There's a reason I found it today and not the day I was looking for it.

I'd stopped looking for a corkscrew and had looked to someone else to take care of me.

And because of that, now it's just a corkscrew.

How grateful I am that the Maker of my heart is still taking care of it.

That God stepped down from heaven and into my kitchen.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

What matters to you...

I'd gotten myself in a situation entirely of my own doing and now I was trying to figure out what to do. I had a decision to make.

Throughout my years in churches I've heard thousands of prayer requests: I'd like to ask for prayer about this but I also knew that this really wasn't appropriate prayer material.

There is great understanding and empathy for prayer regarding sickness or sorrow, difficulty or destitution, hardship or heartbreak.

This was none of the above.

It would be frivolous to request wisdom in making this decision.
It didn't merit prayer.
I was on my own.

But there is a simple biblical truth and this truth encouraged me to bring it before the throne of grace - although my need was trivial,and even though it was a situation I'd gotten into that was totally because I'd messed up, I realized that...

What matters to you

...matters to God.

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you" I Peter 5:7
"Don't worry about anything.;instead pray about everything.
Tell God about what you need and thank Him for all He is going to do." Philippians 4:6