Thinking on these things . . .

What a ponderous title! Let me simplify it before you stop reading...! I love Facebook. All of it. The pokes and gifts and flair and ridiculous applications, yep, I'm one of the ones who enjoys it more than is annoyed. But by far my favorite part is finding and being found by people. This week I chatted with a neighbor I used to babysit for when I was a kid, had a conversation with a manager from a college job, reconnected with two women from a Bible study group I haven't attended in years, chatted with a colleague, and found a roommate from my freshman year of college. And that's all just Facebook! That's not even email and phone calls and visits in person! We all have this wide range of relationships from past to present, acquaintances to BFF's. And in my opinion much of it is determined by these characteristics of character and commonality and...(you know, you read the title) There is no doubt that there are some friendships that are timeless, "kindred spir...

" It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them" -Ralph Waldo Emerson This is one of those great quotes about friendship! But I've always read this and substituted for "stupid" words like silly, obnoxious, ridiculous, goofy. And while all those things are true, the actual saying itself is also so true. With a good friend you can be stupid. We're never stupid intentionally. And when we are we typically feel, well, stupid: like "I can't believe I just said that maybe I can crawl under the table now". Do you have friends like that? Who look at you with that quizzical, "Did you just say/do that?" look and at your agreement then smile and all is forgiven? I think this is some of the thought behind the Matthew 5 directions for if you've been offended by someone, that you go to them and tell them their offense and seek to be reconciled. Sometimes we don't even realize how we have been offe...

I have a friend with a broken toe and my first question was "Did you buddy wrap it?" Buddy wrap - buddy taping - it's the procedure of taping the injured digit to one next to it that is not damaged and therefore giving it support and protection. How good it is to have someone to buddy wrap yourself to when you are injured. There is nothing like having a friend who is strong when you are weak and whole when you feel fragmented. I find, in times like this, that the buddy tape that binds me to someone stronger can be made of email or phone calls or, most deliciously, with lattes at Starbucks. These are the times when you talk more than listen, ask more questions than have answers and see the glass not anywhere near half full. Here a buddy is solid, listening, asking more questions to better understand, providing solutions and/or just a shoulder, offering perspective and hope. There's nothing like it. This is an old idea stated by Solomon in Ecclesiastes 4, "Two...

For me a piece of writing is sometimes a crazy juxtaposition of different occurrences, conversations and various directions my own thoughts have taken. It’s fascinating sometimes to see how they all come together in a cohesive and, hopefully for you who read them, a coherent thought. Lately it’s been all about relationships. I was at a funeral today for my girlfriend’s father. It took me a while to find her because, when I did, I hardly recognized her; she looked great in her high heels and sharp outfit. (Now how do you write that as a compliment without it also seeming like an insult for how she looks the rest of the time…?) :) She looked stunning, and she truly is but how I know her as stunning is not in her choice of outfits but in how she is as a person – in how she gives of herself, how she loves her children, how she’s a selfless friend. I know her with dirt on her hands as she’s trying to help my poor attempts along at a flower garden. I know her under stacks of library books we...

Being that summer is just around the corner, it is time to pull out the most fashionable of all footwear styles - Flip Flops! Just as children should not be in school in these hot months, neither should feet be encased in material as the temperatures rise! Today I tried some new flip flops and they were bouncy - really bouncy. When you walked it felt like you were on a gymnastics mat or a people mover at the airport. Talk about a spring in your step...! So I put them on for a quick walking errand and found that after a half dozen steps I was adjusting them on my feet. Then after a bit I was walking a little differently to accommodate my shoes, the kind of gait you know if you keep it up for a long time that your feet will be killing you tomorrow, not quite broken in yet... As soon as I got back I slipped into my old flip flops - ahhhh...so much better! I'd broken these in all last summer and they conform perfectly to my feet, now they weren't springy but they were wonderfully a...

I think it was Kathy's idea initially, this whole "everyone bring a box of cereal and we'll combine them", concept. Some college town had started a restaurant with this theme and the kids could come in their pajamas, make a cereal conglomeration and watch cartoons on big screens throughout the room. So, hey, why shouldn't we try it?! We were meeting for a very atypical Friday morning breakfast so we showed up with our cereal and discovered... that we are all very practical women. There was a special K, oatmeal squares, raisin bran, and a kashi cereal. We are all too boring! (and apparently healthy!) But I'd grabbed the captain crunch with crunchberries and it looked like sprinkles for breakfast cereal! Life is so often like all our healthy cereals; plain, bland, practical, quite roughly textured and hard to digest. But friends are the crunch berries in it all: they bring to our lives color and brightness, times of laughter and joy. There's no getting aro...

2008 has been such a relational year so far for me. I set up a Facebook account and from there discovered high school and college friends and even kids I used to baby-sit who now have growing families of their own. It’s been a time of reconnecting to people I never knew I’d have contact with again and it’s been interesting to see how we are the same people today that we were twenty years ago; only a little more worn out from use! When I was a child, I remember hearing in a sermon that in your life you will be lucky if you can count the number of true friends you have on one hand. That was preposterous to me! One hand? Five friends? I had way more than five friends! Of course I didn’t have the perspective at twelve that I do now. Now I understand. My definition of friend has matured with my years and I am so blessed by those “friends” who have matured along with my definition. Is there any thing in this world as amazing as a friend? One with whom you can open your soul and know they are...

I'm so excited! I was just being teased that it didn't take much to get me excited: but I'm choosing to take that as a compliment. I'm amazed how God watches out for me in all things, even those that are very little. In the past 24 hours I've gotten an email that was encouraging where I was discouraged, a phone call giving me legal advice that will save me from many headaches, and a visit that resulted in the weeds being gone from what I'm calling my garden and a dozen new transplants all snuggled down into my dirt: and all these things came from the friends in my life. I don't know anything about legalities or flowers (except that they're so pretty and tempting in the store this time of year and I get them home and they're just not happy at my house) yet where I have these holes in my abilities, God's provided others who have these strengths. The expression is typically "like a square peg in a round hole" but my Father is the giver of ...

Honesty It seems like it’s been a common thread in my life for the past few weeks beginning with an Adult Sunday School class on that topic. What does it mean to be honest? What about “don’t ask, don’t tell”? What if I lead you to believe something is true that isn’t even though I never actually say that it’s true? What if I know something that I don’t share that you should know? What is our responsibility as Christians to be honest, totally 100% honest? We didn’t have many answers, I think we raised even more questions and a lot of stories about how these different types of “honesty” have played out in our personal lives, and what effect being honest has on those around us and what they think of us. We looked at scripture and saw that there is no deceit at all in God: well that pretty much answered the question of how honest should we be… So I found myself on the phone with someone very upset about how they perceived I’d treated them and hearing them say “tell me honestly do you have ...

Catchy title isn’t it? I am too far removed from college English to remember what an Ode is. I could look it up, but it might just confuse me. I just know it's what you write when you feel inspired by something. My thermos inspired me when I poured a HOT cup of coffee at 9:30 at night. I’d made that coffee at 7:30 that morning, and now that my day seemed nowhere near ending I was seeking out caffeine to keep me going late into the night. For a girl who can barely function coherently after 10 pm, I would need all the help I could get! But back to the thermos… my coffee was still so hot that evening that even adding cream didn’t cool it off enough to have to put it in the microwave. I was so impressed! (Yes, I am easily amused). Of course, the whole pot had started off hot and fresh, but then – well, the day happened, and the coffee that was left in the coffee maker was stale and cold. But a thermos is a marvelous thing, and so is a friend. There are times when passionate idealism or...

I realized that much I’ve learned about love, I’ve learned in the presence of coffee. I’ve just returned from being invited out for coffee, partially because it was the seasonal special with chocolate, caramel and Irish crème but mostly because I needed space from my home and needed to talk and my friend recognized that and getting coffee became the perfect excuse. The first time I was in a Starbucks was because my father–in-law invited me and my infant son out for coffee. All I remember is enjoying for the first time a Carmel frappacino and sitting still in the comfortable chairs for the time it took to drink our Venti drinks. Since I was sleep deprived and in that general insaneness and giant learning curve that accompanies your first child, going out for coffee was like heaven. One year I was given 3 coffee gift cards for Christmas. I received specially blended coffee combinations in plastic cones adorned with ribbons and silk roses for Valentine’s Day. I brought back 100% Kona co...

If you are blind, you need a Seeing Eye dog. If you are breathing, you need a Seeing Eye friend: a friend who sees clearly where you are blind and one whom you trust enough to follow their lead. I have many such friends, hopefully one for every blind spot I have and ones who not only make up for my deficiencies but who can see clearly what I can’t. I’m in the forest; all I’m seeing are the trees. I have one such friend, so if any of these words ever resonate with you, she is the reason they have been published for your eyes. She’s my favorite “poofreader” and one of many with whom I’ve shared my writings. I've chosen each person who has ever seen what I've written, selecting only those who know me and would be an understanding and safe place to share my thoughts: my friend had another idea. One day she presented me with a book that was a compilation of the writings I’d been sending her. Today she emailed me with the announcement that she’d set up a blog for my words because, as...

I was at a Thursday night rehearsal for some music we’d be doing in church in a couple weeks. This particular piece was beyond my usual frame of reference, a recitative from the Elijah. Now, I’ve been singing my whole life it seems. I remember it driving my parents nuts from the backseat on long car trips. But this genre was going to be a stretch for me, both musically and vocally. So I practiced. I got the CD and sang along with it for a week. I even loaded it on “repeat” in my MP3 player and worked around the house with the music next to me as I folded laundry. I listened and sang with it so often that one day as I was doing the dishes I found I had most of it memorized, so I felt ready. But … when the rehearsal began, and I was to sing all by myself with an organ instead of the recorded orchestra, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t find the entrances or the pitches or the rhythm. And worst of all, it seemed the more I tried to focus and count, the more lost I became; so, not only was I em...