Tuesday, May 8, 2007



It seems like it’s been a common thread in my life for the past few weeks beginning with an Adult Sunday School class on that topic. What does it mean to be honest? What about “don’t ask, don’t tell”? What if I lead you to believe something is true that isn’t even though I never actually say that it’s true? What if I know something that I don’t share that you should know? What is our responsibility as Christians to be honest, totally 100% honest?

We didn’t have many answers, I think we raised even more questions and a lot of stories about how these different types of “honesty” have played out in our personal lives, and what effect being honest has on those around us and what they think of us. We looked at scripture and saw that there is no deceit at all in God: well that pretty much answered the question of how honest should we be…

So I found myself on the phone with someone very upset about how they perceived I’d treated them and hearing them say “tell me honestly do you have a problem with me?” The whole Sunday school conversation came back to me, how we are as honest with people as what we think they’re capable of hearing.

Through all this I’ve realized something that is true for myself: I want to know the truth, the whole truth. I would much rather be told that something I am doing is irritating someone to no end than to continue doing it thinking that it’s not a problem. I would rather you, as my friend; hold up a true mirror to me of what you’re seeing that just telling me what I want to hear.It might sting, it might even hurt, but I’d rather know than be operating under a pretense

It’s the old “Do these pants make me look fat?” Okay, sometimes it is just fishing for a compliment, but often it’s a genuine question to someone whose opinion we trust – tell me if I look bad here, before I go out and look badly before people I want to impress.

There is freedom in conversation when you know that you’ve agreed with the person you’re talking to that you’ll be completely honest in your answers even if that would appear to be offensive or hurtful. When you know that they will tell it like they see it and not just how you want to hear it.

So tell me the truth: tell it gently and kindly, and give me time to acknowledge that it hurts and to deal with it but speak truth. When we do, we give others and ourselves a rare and precious gift in a world where” political correctness” reigns.

I have friends like that. I hope my friends appreciate my being like that and although it’s not always pleasant, the truth always has the ability to make us better, and isn’t that what we really want: friends who watch our back and friends who are enriched because we are their friend?


Anonymous said...

Very good post Becky. Love ya


chrisd said...

Those are the only kind of friends to have. Kind and honest.

You are tagged, Becky. Go to my blog and see what you have to do.

Hugs-Happy Mother's day!